The Angry Woman
Content warning: Anger, gender stereotypes, sexual objectification
Clarification: This article is not intended to exclude anyone who does not identify with ‘man’ or ‘woman’. It is an attempt to understand the problems surrounding women and anger and therefore, written from that perspective.
Lyrics from the latest Taylor Swift’s song Mad Woman from her album Folklore. Lyrics read “And there’s nothing like a mad woman, what a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that.”
Recall the last time that you felt angry. What was the reaction of the people around you? Were you asked to ‘calm down’?
On a personal level, how often do you feel like you have to suppress your anger? Do you feel like you are able to assert yourself effectively? Or do you feel ashamed or guilty?
The answers to these questions are very likely to differ depending on your gender. To understand the differences between how men and women express anger differently, researchers at University of California conducted a study. [1] They found that men felt less effective when forced to hold their anger in, whereas women did not feel similarly. In fact, it was found that women felt ashamed and guilty for feeling angry and as a result, tried to control it, hide it or apologize for it.
Why is there such a stark difference in the way women experience anger as opposed to men? This article aims to understand the answer to this question by first, breaking down the science behind anger and then, exploring the nuances and problems that shape this difference in how men and women experience anger.
What is the science behind anger?
Anger is generally considered as a response to a threat (either to oneself or someone else) and is often triggered by frustration. [2] It can trigger the body’s fight, freeze or flight response, causing the adrenal gland to fill the body with stress hormones. [3] So when an individual gets angry, the parts of their brain responsible for making decisions and moderating social behaviour [4] are overwhelmed and they may experience a sense of loss of control. [5] As a result, they may react with feelings and actions that are ill-advised or sometimes even harmful to others around them.
However, this does not mean that the way one’s brain functions during anger is the same every time they experience anger. It not only differs from individual to individual, but can differ from experience to experience with the same individual, like a unique fingerprint. [6]
This is because an individual’s feelings are a consequence of their brain preparing the individual to act, based on their past experiences. [7] Past experiences include one’s lifetime of experiences, what they read in books, what they watch on television and social media, what they see around them, etc. which then become the seeds of memory in their brain. [7] Thereafter the brain prepares a “script” to guide how the individual acts in anticipation of feeling angry.
Picture showing a caricature of our brain preparing a “script” in anticipation of anger. Illustration by Roshni Ranganathan
Therefore, if the way we experience anger depends on our past experiences, then can these “past experiences” provide answers to our earlier question:
Why is there a stark difference in the way women experience anger as opposed to men?
In other words, how do women’s past experiences differ from that of men, which in turn has an effect on how they experience and express anger? Answering this question calls for an understanding of the gendered social rules and culture that we grow in.
Effect of Culture and Society on Anger
Our culture has a tendency to accept anger as a reasonable response from men but not from women. [8] In one of the studies conducted by gender-equity researchers at Harvard Kennedy school, it was found that women suffer negative consequences for displaying anger at the workplace whereas men are rewarded with benefits like higher status or higher salaries, for the same emotional displays. [9] Further, this study explained that a woman’s anger was attributed to her personality, resulting in negative backlash at the workplace. However, when a man got angry, it was attributed to external factors and thereby mitigating the negative effects of displaying anger.
Picture showing attribution of anger at workplace to personal traits in case of a woman and to external factors in case of a man. Illustration by Roshni Ranganathan.
Why does this happen?
Earlier, we saw how the brain bases its “script” for feeling angry on past experiences which includes media consumption and societal changes. This means that our brains get their instructions from the culture that they develop in [10] and these “instructions” include strongly gendered social rules. Therefore, what the brain finds rewarding by following these “instructions” reflects the dominant values of the culture. [11]
In reality, this plays out in many ways. For example, if an infant boy grows up watching movies where the male actors use violence as a means to express their anger and express their dominance then the infant’s brain wires itself according to this. [7] Similarly, if a young woman grows up watching her mother, sister or other females they look up to, suppress their anger, scream or control their words, then the young woman’s brain also wires itself accordingly.
Traditional childhood gender socialization tends to encourage boys to wield power with their bodies, words and space and this is associated with expressing anger and aggression. [12] The same gender socialization causes adults to dismiss anger and frustration in young women by terming it as “the raging hormonal stage”. [12] This is problematic for two main reasons: a) dismissing their anger by terming it as “hormonal stage” symptoms is counterproductive and only increases their frustration; b) their freedom of expressing this increased frustration is also curtailed.
Therefore, the way our culture and society responds when a man or woman expresses anger, strongly influences how we respond, too. However, there is another major factor that strongly shapes and reinforces this culture - the role of the media.
What is the role of the Media?
Perceptions of gender roles and social rules are continually influenced by social factors, especially media representations of these rules, throughout one’s life for both males and females. [13] It’s as if our brains repeatedly try to explain our place in the world through these gendered perceptions of reality that it has gathered from past experiences. Such perceptions are reinforced by the media and the entertainment world. (You can read the toxic role of the media in our post on celebrity culture here.)
It is no secret that continuous exposure to specific cultural messages will influence how the audience identifies with that message in the long term. [14] In India, Bollywood’s sexist portrayal of women has been in existence since decades and unfortunately, still continues. [15] Filmmakers seem to opine that if their films have to become ‘blockbusters’ then they need to cater to the audience’s perception of an ‘ideal woman’, someone who is ‘god-fearing’, docile, and will ‘sacrifice everything for her family’. [16] Such kinds of cultural messages makes us view women as not capable of anger and if she does get angry, she is not an ‘ideal woman’ and therefore, bad.
Another kind of sexist portrayal of women in movies is their objectification, [17] which strengthens the social dominance theory, that men are more socially dominant than women. [18] When we continuously consume content that reinforces these unequal social hierarchies, our brain perceives it as acceptable for men to exert anger and power over women but not vice versa (because according to these perceptions women are not considered to be on the same social hierarchy or social stratification).
This is a vicious and toxic cycle!
Films are created based on gendered roles of men and women in order to appeal to the majority audience; the audience’s brain perceives this gendered portrayal also to be reality and continually strengthens this perception by consuming such films.
Picture depicting the toxic cycle of filmmakers making films based on ‘reality’ and gender stereotypes that audience perceive to be reality. Illustration by Roshni Ranganathan
Unlearn: Hope for Our Future
Criticizing films for portrayal of women is obviously not the solution for changing the status quo. In fact, some may even argue that filmmakers have the freedom of expression while making films and that could be valid. This means that the responsibility shifts onto us, the audience who consume such content. We also wield the power of social media. Whether or not a particular stereotype is carried forward into the future depends on us and on what we choose to share with our social circles.
Now that we are aware that gendered social rules and their depiction in the media significantly affect how women experience anger, what can we do next?
Here are some possible key takeaways one could consider:
Observe - Within your house, observe and identify the differences in the way the females in the family express their anger as opposed to the males and other members. Can this difference be attributed to any of the gender roles discussed above?
Understand - Anger is experienced and expressed differently by every individual, a lot of which depends on their societal and cultural upbringing. Understand that dismissing one’s anger only heightens it even more. Instead you can perhaps ask them ‘whether’ they are actually feeling angry and if yes, ‘why’ they might be feeling so. Depending on the context, you could also look at de-escalating the situation. [19]
Become conscious consumers of content - In a time where our social media, entertainment and news consumption is only increasing by the day, the content we consume has a more long-lasting impact that we can imagine. Therefore, we can take tiny steps everyday to be more conscious of the content we consume.
P.S. - If you’re confused about some of the jargons that may have been used in this post, check out our list of Key Terms!
KEY TERMS
Gendered Social Rules:
social norms defining acceptable and appropriate actions for women and men in a given group or society. They are embedded in formal and informal institutions, nested in the mind, and produced and reproduced through social interaction.
Social Dominance Theory:
a theory of intergroup relations that focuses on the maintenance and stability of group-based social hierarchies, where inequalities are maintained through institutionalized discrimination, among other behaviours.
Social Stratification:
a society's categorization of its people into groups based on socioeconomic factors including gender, social status, and derived power, among others.
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References
[1] University Of California, San Francisco. "Comparison Of Anger Expression In Men And Women Reveals Surprising Differences" ScienceDaily, January 31, 2000. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2000/01/000131075609.htm>.
[2] Blair, R J R. “Considering anger from a cognitive neuroscience perspective.” Wiley interdisciplinary reviews. Cognitive science vol. 3,1 (2012): 65-74. <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3260787/#>
[3] Panksepp J. Affective neuroscience: The foundations of human and animal emotions. New York: Oxford University Press; 1998.
[4] ”Prefrontal Cortex”, Science of Psychotherapy, (2018). <https://www.thescienceofpsychotherapy.com/glossary/prefrontal-cortex/>
[5] Blair, R J R. “Considering anger from a cognitive neuroscience perspective”, Wiley interdisciplinary reviews, Cognitive science vol. 3, (2012). <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3260787/#>
[6] Barrett, L. F., “How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain”, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (2017).
[7] Nell Greenfieldboyce, Lisa Feldman Barrett, Linda Douglas., “The Psychology And Significance Of Anger, And How We Understand It”, NHPR, August 5, 2019. <https://www.nhpr.org/post/psychology-and-significance-anger-and-how-we-understand-it#stream/0>
[8] Allison Abrams, “The Power and Shame of Women’s Anger”, Psychology Today, February 23, 2020. <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/202002/the-power-and-shame-women-s-anger>
[9] Brescoll, Victoria L., and Eric Luis Uhlmann, “Can an angry woman get ahead? Status conferral, gender, and expression of emotion in the workplace”, Psychological science 19, no. 3 (2008). <https://gap.hks.harvard.edu/can-angry-woman-get-ahead-status-conferral-gender-and-exprssion-emotion-workplace>
[10] Nalini Ambady, “The Mind in the World: Culture and the Brain”, Observer, May 4, 2011. <https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/the-mind-in-the-world-culture-and-the-brain>
[11] Beth Azar, “Your brain on culture”, Monitor on Psychology, vol. 41, November 2010. <https://www.apa.org/monitor/2010/11/neuroscience#:~:text=The%20burgeoning%20field%20of%20cultural,development%2C%20and%20perhaps%20vice%20versa.&text=The%20study%20also%20shows%20the,beliefs%20can%20shape%20mental%20function.>
[12] Soraya L. Chemaly, “Chapter 1: Mad Girls”, Rage Becomes Her (New York: Atria Books), (2018).
[13] Bussey, K., & Bandura, A., “Social cognitive theory of gender development and differentiation”, Psychological Review, 106(4), 676–713 (1999).
[14] Eyal, K., Raz, Y., & Levi, M., “Messages about sex on Israeli television: Comparing local and foreign programming”, Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, (2014).
[15] Ishan Mehandru, “Picture abhi patriarchy hai: Studying Bollywood’s sexism disease”, The Print, October 13, 2018. <https://theprint.in/opinion/picture-abhi-patriarchy-hai-studying-bollywoods-sexism-disease/133324/>
[16] Sowmya Nandkumar, “The Stereotypical Portrayal of Women in Commercial Indian Cinema”, Thesis Presentation at University of Houston, May 2011. <https://uh-ir.tdl.org/bitstream/handle/10657/217/NANDAKUMAR-.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y>
[17] Parnab Dhar, “When films objectify women”, The Hindu, December 22, 2019. <https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/when-films-objectify-women/article30367644.ece>
[18] Pratto, F., Sidanius, J., Stallworth, L. M., & Malle, B. F., “Social Dominance Orientation: A Personality Variable Predicting Social and Political Attitudes” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 741-763 (1994).
[19] Shane Parrish, “There’s Seldom Any Traffic on the High Road”, Farnam Street Blog. <https://fs.blog/2018/11/high-road/>
Roshni Ranganathan
Passionate about teaching. Can be found doodling while humming an old tune she just listened to. Pours her heart into her work.
